Weekend Warrior

Weekends are by far my favorite time of the week. For me they are a time for adventure, exploration, and fanatical photography formulation. This weekend I was lucky enough to have the chance to visit a concrete plant for a shoot. This definitely brought me out of my comfort zone but I welcomed the challenge.

This shoot was an exciting chance to work with a whole new subject matter that I had not previously touched upon in my art. Although my day job consists of producing product photography, the inorganic shapes I worked with on this particular shoot made me pay particular attention to how they interacted with their environment.

Another thing I don't often work with is black and white. This is an area that I have been pushing myself in recently. A photo can taken a whole different mood or meaning when taken in black and white. This can be a challenge because it's not as simple as slapping a black and white filter onto your image. Anyway, here is the outcome of some of my work from this shoot. A little mix of industrial grunge with a splash of black and white practice.

 

M + J Engagement Shoot

For every shoot I do, I like to learn as much as I can about the person or people I am photographing. This is only natural of course. By understanding your subject you as a photographer are able to gain a bit of insight into their life to better capture their essence and beauty in your image.

As soon as they began to tell me about their relationship I was instantly inspired. Being an active and outdoorsy couple, I could easily relate to their appreciation of nature. When it was mentioned that the two of them loved water, my mind began to race with ideas for possible shots to do. A few locations were recommended to me but a waterfall was a must. I scouted out the different shooting locations before deciding on the perfect spot for them.

But as with all things, the shoot did not go completely as planned. When I arrived, as the sun was rising, I took a quick walk through the park once more to test the lighting in each area. Unfortunately the beautiful waterfall that I specifically picked this particular location for was not currently flowing. The water was very low that day which surprised me because of all the rain we had received that week. It was also a bit of a surprise because I had just been there a few days before when it was flowing perfectly. 

Even with this small setback we as artists must do our best to achieve our vision. I wanted this shoot to go well for this adorable couple so I went to work with what we were given. I am pleased with the outcome even if it wasn’t as I had initially intended it. I believe that this is not only an important part of being an artist but also just as human beings in general. We must learn to go with the flow (no pun intended) and tackle challenges head on.  

Click Here to see the full shoot.

Pokemon Shuffle Review

Some of you might already know of my avid interest (some might even say obsession) with the pokemon universe and its games. So it was no surprise when I hopped on board with this new FREE pokemon themed game: Pokemon Shuffle for the 3DS. For free a game I'll have to admit it is pretty great; very beautiful, adorable artwork, what more could you ask for? It had my attention for about a week or so, hey it's pokemon! There was no way I wasn't going to try and get into it as much as I possibly could.

 

This game was actually really fun at first. I made it all the way to stage 135 before I threw in my towel, so it's not that I wasn't enjoying the game...cause I was. This game is very similar to Candy Crush (and also to another pokemon game released back in 2006 called Pokemon Trozei), it is the usual match 3+ in a row but in this game you are matching pokemon to battle and defeat the opposing pokemon. You are given 5 hearts at the beginning of the game and you spend a heart to play a level. The down side is that it takes about 30 minutes for a heart to recharge. So honestly, it's only about 15 minutes of game time before you have to wait 2 and a half hours to play again. This I didn't find as fun. It's always saddening to me when a game tells me how long I can play it for. My mom did enough of that for me when I was a kid. BUT, you can spend money to buy jewels to buy hearts so you don't have to wait (jewels can be bought through the Nintendo eStore. One jewel is also given to the player after beating a "boss" in a particular area but only on their first play through). However, I'm not a fan of this business model. 

Anyway, the game involves choosing pokemon you've caught to fight for you. If you beat a level you have the chance to catch a pokemon to add to your roster. Each pokemon has a set catch rate percent and then a bonus percent is added on for how many moves you were under the target move limit. This is fine too! I like that a lot. It made skill matter. But then there were the pokemon whose base catch rate was close to 1%, you would literally have to beat their level in a single move for your extra move bonus to even give you a reasonable chance at catching them. Of course these are the tough pokemon that have such low catch rates, that's understandable but I always felt they were out of reach to me even if I was on a really good combo streak.

There is also the option to spend coins that you have collected from beating levels on power-up type items that increase your chance of beating a level. You can also buy This would be great if levels gave you more than 100 coins at a time. The cheapest power-up is 300 coins and it is also the least useful in terms of you beating the level (it gives your pokemon who fought more experience at the end of the fight). The most expensive/useful is 9000 where one less pokemon will show up on your play screen, making it easier for you to make large combos. Connecting your game to the internet once a day for a "check in" will earn your 500 coins so that means for you to be able to use this power-up would would either have to pay money or wait roughly a week (that is playing everyday at every possible time your hearts are recharged, checking in, and winning the level on the first try) to earn enough coins to use that power-up. And that isn't even a guarantee that you'll beat the level with it or catch the pokemon in that level. That's rough.

Pokemon Shuffle became less about skill and more about luck than I was comfortable with. I tried my hardest to line up my moves so that they would create chain reactions within my board (honestly I was thinking at least 3 steps ahead of myself at all times) but I felt like I wasn't in control of my game, like it had a mind of its own trying to keep me from winning at all costs.

Now you might say, "dude its a free game don't worry about it", and you're right. There was nothing keeping me from playing when I wasn't enjoying myself besides the fact that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it (and the fact that it's pokemon). But I know now that I can't without spending money and that's not my fault. I would have gladly paid money for this game straight up over having micro transactions so that I could enjoy playing it. No thank you. 

Job Hunt and Game Polish

Looking for a job is hard. Although I have been spending countless hours with my eyes glued to my computer screen in hopes that I may find a job opening in a field I will enjoy, it hasn't stopped me in my search. With graduation coming up I need to have some idea of what I am going to do to pay my student loans. In the meantime, I continue on with my class work and honing some photography skills.

Along side that there is obviously still FireFight. This game is scheduled to be finished some time in May. So hold tight! Below is a picture of our new level select screen. We are really excited to work on polishing the game and making it the best that it can be with our given time frame.

Game Festival

Submitting your game to a festival can be scary. A lot of pressure is being put on you to have the best and most fun game out of all the other submissions. It can also be pretty interesting and informative, especially if you're sending your game to another country.

We did not toss aside the idea of sending our game into the Brazilian Indie Game festival (BIG). With some research we found out that a lot of Brazilians are actually learning English from American video games. So why not? We will take any chance we have to get our game out there and recognized. We are definitely looking for some great feed back after the festival.

Although we will not be flying out their ourselves, it is still a chance to spread the word about our game. Hopefully this will be an enriching experience for us as a team; working together with a set deadline in mind and specific requirements and polish.

How Much I Love Photo Editing

I'm just going to say that it's a lot. I really do have a passion for photography and photo editing. Below I have added some photos that I needed to edit for class that I had a really good time doing. These were intended as practice with editing photos in Photoshop and Camera Raw (so they were not taken by me just edited). You can never get enough practice. There is just something about the creativity you have, not only while taking a photo but with the post processing as well, that I just love.

Photo Credit: Scott Kelby (pre-edit behind)

This photo was an example of edits with white balance, that is the photos color temperature. New cameras these days have so many settings when it comes to white balance. You can allow your camera to do the work for you and use its little camera brain to determine the best balance for your photo or you can access the lighting yourself and let the camera know how it should balance it. Our eyes have a way of balancing the colors in different lighting so it may be difficult at times to understand why your pictures comes out with a particular hue to it and what white balance setting to use. 

In this case the original photo came out very blue and cold (this may be how you wanted the photo to come out, and that's fine, its all artistic opinion). A blue hue is usually caused by fluorescent lights. This can be combated in post by changing the white balance to the fluorescent setting and by making some adjustments of your own as well.

Animations

After trial and error I finally have some animations! I have never found animations to be very easy for me but I have always found the art fascinating with an incredible outcome. But I finally have something game worthy! I am proud of the hard work I put into these little guys. With more practice I hope to make them even better in the future. For now I am keeping them simple; none of the walk cycles I made are over 4 frames. This is also to prevent the game from being bogged down with too much info.  

Balance

Before we release the next rendition of our beta to our testers I will be going a bit of balancing. Most testers have stated that our levels are currently too difficult. Well fear no more! After checking out this article I feel much more comfortable tweaking our game. "Balancing is creating dynamics." This is the best way to describe it. So here goes! It is all about numbers. Lots and lots of number. I feel that we definitely have a good start with where we are so tweaking won't be as tedious as one might think.

Heat Map

Our programmer is amazing. So we're just about to send out another play test for our tester and we're getting very excited about it. The thing I am most excited about is the implementation of heat maps! You might look at this and say "what a gross mess" but this is really going to help with design of our levels. With the help of these heat maps we can see what areas of the map are being use most often. This will also show us what areas aren't being used and give us a good idea at how we can better utilize our level.

FireFight Ad

My programmer and I decided that it was time to get a little advertising going on our game. This was just our test run; round 1 if you prefer. Playing safe to begin with, we put $5 into a Facebook ad to see what it would get us. Just one day after, I can say the results were quite satisfying. We have reached almost 4k people and now have close to 60 likes on our page. This was very exciting for us. I had no idea what to expect, especially with a game that is still in progress.

I have currently been working on the art for a new level for our game. It will be the tutorial level! You're welcome play testers! We love you! Instead of throwing our poor play testers into the fray of level 1 with only a quick controls layout sheet, we're working on a full fledged level just so players can get a hang of the controls before the real fighting begins.

Pokemon

There is a new video game coming out (well really it's a remake of an older game). It's not just any old game though. It's a new Pokemon game. I'm sure you've heard about Pokemon before. It's practically everywhere; from video games and card games to t-shirts and cell phone cases, Pokemon has essentially taken over every form of media there is.

I'm not just going into this subject because of how popular it is but I'm writing this because of how powerful it is and how much it has influenced my life. Now this may seem strange but I'm going to be completely honest with you. Pokemon is super important to me. Sure it's just a game, a brand, a franchise, but of the few people I have said that to, no one has fully understood me.

Pokemon is the reason I got into game design. With its first release in 1996 in Japan, it instantly became a worldwide sensation. It is a fairly simple concept: travel the world with your friends and battle to become the very best like no one ever was. In my opinion it is a beautifully crafted game.

 

The main mechanic of the game is to battle with your pokemon. Pokemon are the creatures that inhabit the world. They have magical powers that are aligned with the elements. Humans have the ability to capture pokemon and raise them to make them stronger. That's where battling comes in. People who own pokemon match up against each other to see who has raised their pokemon the best.

To make your pokemon stronger you need to raise them with love and care. The bond between you and your pokemon is what sets you apart from the average trainer.  

It was only until a few years ago that I really realized how much is actually in this game. There is a ton of math and strategy involved that I finally began to understand. I had a new appreciation for a game I already love so much.

I always wanted pokemon to be real, ever since I was old enough to hold a GameBoy in my hands. It started off with games of pretend. Around 1st and 2nd grade I would talk to my friends about Pokemon during recess (my older cousin had introduced it to me and I just couldn't keep it to myself) and we would take turns pretending to be pokemon and trainers having battles. But my imagination didn't end there. Any time I was in a car I would pretend that I was riding my faithful pokemon to our destination and before I went to sleep at night I would always pretend to tuck my pokemon in first. 

Even though they were just pretend they were there for me when I was alone. Like any kid with imaginary friends, I had conversations with them and fit them into my everyday life how ever I could. Even today my mind wonders to pokemon when I'm not focusing on anything. More often than not, when I'm walking to class or sitting in the dinning hall, I'll pay careful attention to the people around me and take a guess at what pokemon they would have on their team (if they were real that is).

In 2004 Pokemon Colosseum was released in the U.S. I spent so many hours playing this game. It was unlike any other Pokemon game to date. The 3D models of the Pokemon really gave them life! They moved and interacted like never before. This game was so moving to me that I still go back to it every once in a while just to relive those feelings I had as a kid (even if the graphics of the current Pokemon games, X and Y, for the 3DS are superior). 

A lot of parents are reluctant to let their kids get into this game franchise because they believe it to be too violent. Yes these cartoon creatures fight but there is no blood or cuts or bruises or anything like that. If a pokemon is defeated in battle it does not die, it just gets too tired to continue fighting (essentially it passes out until you give it medicine or bring it to a pokemon nurse). I completely understand that it is a parent's decision what a child can and cannot play with (especially when it comes to the controversial topic of video games in the first place) but I believe that this game is less about fighting and more about growth and friendship.

After countless victories in battle, when you have gained your pokemon's trust and friendship, it grows and eventually (in many cases) evolves. The evolution of a pokemon is a special thing. It is when your pokemon takes on its new form, becoming all around stronger. I feel that this change can also be seen in ourselves. When we are put through tough situations we need to fight our way through it (not as literally) and when we come out on the other side we are usually better and stronger as a person. 

I think that if pokemon were real I would finally know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I know that I would have the dedication to take care of these creatures and help them achieve their full potential. Both of us learning and growing side by side. But really that's just a silly dream of mine.

Not Necessarily To Be Taken Literally

"Not Necessarily To Be Taken Literally". This was the name of my latest photography assignment. And I sure had fun with it! My professor assigned me 22 things to take photos of ranging from my biggest fear to something I don't understand. The best part of this crazy list was, you guessed it, they didn't need to be taken literally. This allowed me to stretch my imagination and really push the boundaries of my own creativity.

Bellow are just a few of my favorites that I took for this project. Enjoy!

"Your best friend"

There's something about these games that has really stuck with my throughout my life. They are something solid I can always turn to and rely on. Although they are not literally a friend of mine, I think are pretty dang close for being inanimate objects. I know that I can turn to this simple game when I'm feeling down and it will brighten my mood. In some ways Pokemon is as real to me as you or I.

"A fleeting moment"

I can't think of anything more fleeting than the last few moments of a leaf's life in the fall season. As a side note, the sky in this photo isn't edited. We had some amazing coloration in the sky that afternoon and I just had to capture it. (Nature is freakin' cool!)

"Something timeless"

 Classic books. The value and culture locked within the pages of these masterpieces will forever remain a wonder and pleasure to read. Reading is one of my favorites hobbies and reading a classic piece is always a thrill.

"Your favorite place"

My favorite place has to be the outdoors. There is so much peace and tranquility you can find stepping out into nature. The fresh air is such a relief in contrast with my stuffy dorm room.

"Somewhere you've never been"

This photo was actually taken at an arts festival. The gondola represents Venice of course, someplace I've never been. I would actually love to see Europe. It's one of my dreams for the future.  



In no way an I a professional photographer but I feel like with each new assignment I am gaining a little bit more skill. I already feel like I have a good grasp on composition and lighting. I want to keep pushing myself to get better at this. Next semester (my last semester of college) I will be taking a photo editing class. Hopefully this will help with the quality of my photos. Who knows, maybe I can even find a career in it if I'm lucky!

Surviving Class Registration

It's that time of year again (no not Christmas)! Class registration is one of the most frustrating and hernia-inducing things about college (at least from my own experience). Not only do you have to battle your friends and classmates for a spot in that particular class that is only offered spring semester but you also have to fight the rush on the registration site. That means staying up until midnight sitting on that site, refreshing the page every 2 minutes waiting to be able to press that "register for sections" button.

The key to this is to get a good nights sleep the night before if you do not stay up until midnght on a regular basis (like myself). Eating well is also important. A dinner with lots of carbs, like rice and pasta, will give your body an extra boost of energy to help you reach your midnight goal. Fruits are great to snack on while you wait as well. Around 10:30 - 11, you might find yourself getting a bit hungry, bananas and apples are great, healthy foods that will help you power through.

(Here are some more good examples --> Energy Foods)

Being a senior, class registration is very important. This is your last chance to fill up your schedule with classes required to graduate. One of two magical things are about to happen to you. Either A) you're going to have loads of open electives left and are going to enjoy your relaxing (yet productive) last semester of college or B) you're going to be stuck taking all those classes you've been putting off because they didn't seem like any fun.

To avoid a stressful and packed last semester, a good plan is to space your least-liked classes throughout each semester of your college career. Another strategy is to get them out of the way as soon as you can. I've seen it done either way. The choice is up to you. 

Backtracking for a moment, once you pick your classes you then have to meet with your adviser. That is, if you have trained in the arts of bounty hunting and can successfully track down another human being. Of course I'm only kidding, but it can be a bit of a pain. More often than not, if your schedule does not match up with this particular person who holds the key to your registration success then you're stuck waiting in line for hours on end. 

I tend to be on my game about these things. I will literally ask to be let out of class early just so I can meet up with my adviser during these times (class registration is really important to me). There is this cool thing my school recently implemented (that sadly, not many students take advantage of) where you can register for office hours online. It seems to be working fairly well (especially since I scheduled an appointment the day after we were told our class registration date). 

After successfully meeting with your adviser, checking off what classes you've already taken and which ones would be in your best interest for the future, all you have to do is wait for you class' scheduled registration day then you're set (granted none of the classes you wanted filled before you could register for it). Seniors have to do an extra step. Seniors get to fill out a little form entitled "intent to graduate". Apparently this needs to be filled out in order for you to graduate.

I can't believe it took this one simple form for it to finally hit me. I've seen it on the website before and I have always said to myself "oh I don't have to worry about that, that's for seniors"...well it's finally my turn. It finally hit me that I'm going to graduate. All of this hard work and dedication is coming down to this one thing: my "intent to graduate." Yes I DO intend on graduating! This is a very exciting time for me and I worked hard to get here.

It will be worth it in the end I'd say. The degree I'll be handed is a Bachelors of Arts. So I have a really great feeling I'll be able to have a decent upper hand when it comes to getting a job in any type of creative field. I was worried at first that I wouldn't find a job once I was out of college but now that the end is drawing closer I am not as scared. 

All of the work I have done throughout my college career has only helped solidify my good work ethic which I can bring to any job setting. I can do anything!

 

Sick Ramble

Being sick makes even the most mundane tasks unmanageable. This week has been no fun for me at all. I've been sick. Not even the regular kind of sick where you have an annoying runny nose that lasts a week, but the miserable kind of sick where every muscle aches and you can hardly talk because your throat hurts so much. But luckily I did not have to be on my own.

Being sick at school is tough. Of course my dorm has to be the furthest from the dinning hall. Normally I would not complain about this because I love the exercise (even though there are often scary homeless people throwing insults at anyone who walks by) but these are not normal circumstances. When you can hardly move, walking a couple of blocks up hill just isn't going to work. I had to call someone.

I am so lucky to have someone special in my life who would drive 2 hours just to come pick me up from school. Stuffy and sniffling, miserable me waiting in my sweatpants, hardly able to carry my own bag of clothing for the weekend; it was definitely a sad sight. But that didn't matter. He gave me a huge hug and helped me with my bags. He just wanted to do what ever he could to help me, even if there was a chance of him getting sick too. I can't thank him enough.

We went back to my house. It was much more comfortable there than at school. I got to rest and eat soup and watch movies all day (and since this blog is all about life tips I'll throw this in as well: when you're sick it is key to stay hydrated). It would have been an amazing mini-vacation if I hadn't been so sick. Waking up at 5 in the morning with a coughing fit just stinks. But I'm getting better, I don't feel as achy. I had to return to school because I couldn't miss any more days of class. Luckily for me it was a Wednesday when I got sick. Usually this would have been an issue to go home in the middle of the week but thanks to optional midterms I only missed two classes.

I don't like missing my photography class but I really wasn't feeling well. I did some practice at home for a big project that I'm working on (surprises! You'll have to wait and see!). I don't like missing classes in general. Not only am I paying for them, I also don't like letting people down. I felt bad having to tell my group for my cultures & heroes class that I couldn't make it. We were doing a group presentation. I sent in my work of course but I wasn't there to help present (I couldn't have anyway, I could hardly talk).

So now I'm back to school (even though I wish I could still be home snuggled warm on the couch). But I have work to do and obligations to keep. I will push through this sickness the best that I can and stay positive all the way. 

Photography

There's something about photography that really gets me excited. It's hard to explain the thrill that I get when composing an eye catching composition right before taking a picture. I can definitely say that it is a passion of mine.

I have always been a fan of taking pictures ever since I was a little kid. I would beg my mom to let me borrow her camera and I would go outside and take pictures of the trees and flowers and bugs in our yard. To me, it's one of the most relaxing things to do (besides yoga).

This year I am taking a semester of advanced digital photography. Even though I'm the only person in my class (besides the professor of course) I couldn't be more excited. I really hope that I can hone my skills and produce an impressive portfolio.

With the completion of my degree I will have a Bachelors in Arts with a concentration in video game art and design. I am not entirely sure what I want to do with my life when I get out of school but with an arts degree I feel as though my choices are wide open.

My current internship is with branded digital entertainment. I'm a designer with a little app company. Although this is a great job, I can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I used to get scared about finishing school. I was always worried that I wouldn't be able to get a good job and that I wouldn't be successful in a career. No longer do I feel that way. I just remind myself every day that I should stay positive because I'm a hard worker, a quick learner, and have great organizational skills. Those are all great skills every employer is looking for. Not only that, I have some really amazing people in my life who will support me no matter where I am.

I'm ready for what ever experiences life has to throw at me. Some will be great and others not so much, but in the end I know that it is through these challenges that I will better understand myself and learn to appreciate the good times even more.

So if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are afraid like I was, just take a minute to write a list of all the things you're good at. This can be anything from being a good listener to being a reliable friend. You'll be surprised that even the simplest skill can be turned into something astoundingly helpful in your future.

Music Mix #2

As the summer season ends and the cool days of autumn approach, I couldn't help but dedicate a new music mix to the amazing summer that has passed. If you're returning to school for the fall, coming home from a vacation, or just saying farewell to another beautiful season, you are more than welcome to check out this 41 minute mix I made of the most prominent songs of the end of my summer.

---> Summer's End Mix <--- 

A lot of memories can be made in a short amount of time and I am just thrilled to say that the last summer vacation of my life has definitely been one I will remember for years to come. As the school year starts and I begin my final year of college, I only hope that I continue to grow and develop as a person, keeping the memories close to me and learning from every step that I take. Even the music that I listen to carries a bit of those memories with them. When a song plays I often feel as if a small part of me is going back in time to the moment when that exact song was playing during a particular memory.

TEDTalks Stories

I'm not surprised that we are now finding the topics of depression and anxiety in TEDTalks. It is so brave of these men and women to share their stories of how they live with these. They even say "in hopes that others don't feel so alone." Now that is a cause I can stand behind.

Here is a link to several talks covering various topics from depression to schizophrenia and anywhere in between. Even if you don't suffer from any of these disorders I hope you can find them interesting and enlightening.

--> TEDTalks <--

Identify and Overcome

After the loss of an amazing actor, who touched the hearts of millions though his comedy and films, we remember him for all of the great things he did in his life. Robin Williams will always have a special place in my heart. I grew up with movies like "Flubber", "Aladdin", and "Mrs. Dobtfire." There was always something special that he brought into his roles, a kind of passion that made his characters so lovable.

But with his passing brings up the topic of depression in the media. These topics have anyways been difficult to talk about and people often wish to shy away from bringing it up in conversation. But it needs to be talked about. I recently read an article on a popular site that I wanted to share.

--> Identifying and Overcoming Depression <--

Writer Lisa Winter does a great job of helping the reader understand what depression is and what you can do to help someone you love who might show signs of being depressed.

I can't say it enough. Those who are suffering with depression are not alone. There is always help and a shoulder to lean on. Life is too beautiful to give up on yourself.  

Gratification

I find it easy to be hard on myself about well...pretty much everything. Even the things that seem grossly insignificant. Once I feel myself getting to this toxic state of mind I have a bit of reminding that needs to be done.

I'll take a quick step back for a second. Yesterday in my post about music I had mentioned that I gave up early on playing the guitar. I got to a point in my practice where I had plateaued and could not get better. This is one of the most frustrating things to me and I notice it happening more and more in my life to the point where it's becoming a hindrance in enjoying the things that I love. But why? Why am I letting this silly hiccup stop me from enjoying myself? It's simple. I shouldn't.

In a world cluttered with over stimulation, high speed media, and instant information at the tips of our fingers, it is easy to see why some of us might fall into the category of being stubborn when it comes to gratification for the things that we do. Delayed gratification. It's a fairly new subject that has been brought up due to today's expanding technologies.

I thought that the hard work I was putting into work, school, and other new skills, would pay off faster than it really was. I was totally frustrated that after two years of graphic design work, my work still not up to the standards that I expected of myself. Why was this not enough time to grow? I work everyday, I study hard, I am dedicated and manage my time well. But there is one thing that I was lacking: patience. Punishing myself for not being as good as I want to be will get me nowhere. I could work as hard as I wanted and I could push myself to my furthest limits but a garden wont grow in a day no matter how hard you try.

Progress can be slow, especially if it is something you are new at. But the main thing is to have faith in yourself. Believing in yourself is the first step to overcoming the restlessness that comes with thinking you aren't good enough or should be better. You are who you are. Everyone works at their own pace and sometimes things just don't come naturally. So we work at it and we work hard, especially if it is something that you truly love to do.       

 In my fortune cookie (sometimes I love these things) I received a fortune that read "the value of a man resides in what he gives, not in what he is capable of receiving". This can be interpreted in many different ways. The first way that comes to mind is simply giving and not expecting much in return, such as charity work, helping a friend/family member, or just being a supportive person in general. But as I thought about it, it also made me think of gratification."The value of a man resides in what he gives," could also being saying that a person is defined by the hard work that they do, "not in what he is capable of receiving," without expecting the fruits of his labors to be handed to him in a neat little basket. It may be a stretch seeing as I've had gratification on my mind all day.

If you agree let me know! If you don't then I'd love to hear what you think about this quote.   

Music Love

If you followed my blog before you already know how much I love music. There is something absolutely magic about the way that music can lift the spirit and put you in the best mood. I find it to be such a great stress reliever. I wanted to take the time to give a little bit more insight on my own personal experiences with music.

I have always loved music, even before I was born I felt inspired by the sound of it. My mom recounts multiple occasions where I would be kicking her inside of her belly when a particularly good song came on the radio. I would always be dancing and singing as I got older. Not only was it fun but it was a great way to express myself. There wasn’t a car ride where the radio wasn’t on or a CD/tape wasn’t playing. Still to this day I enjoy singing along to songs on the radio either alone or with others.

As soon as the opportunity arrived in elementary school I decided to pick up an instrument. It was a violin. I was really excited to play and learn more about it but my young and spirited mind expected the classes to be less structured than they were. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to pay attention but I wanted to play what I wanted. It was also difficult to make myself practice outside of class. After a year of that I tried out for the school chorus and fell in love with singing immediately. I was in chorus all the way up until high school. When I got to middle school we had an amazing music teacher but due to school budget cuts she could no longer teach for us. And with that went my days of learning music at school. 

I was thankful for the internet at this point. Youtube was becoming a thing and so were music videos. It was so cool to be able to look up your favorite songs and then listen to them over and over again whenever you wanted to. For my birthday one year I asked for a keyboard. Why not try another type of instrument? I had a couple books and I knew how to follow the lighted keys well enough but I wanted to be able to play my favorite songs. Luckily there were tutorials on Youtube! When I wasn’t busy with school work I would sit myself down in front of my desk top computer with my keyboard in my lap as I watched videos on how to play songs like "Clocks" by Coldplay. The only problem I had with this was that it took awhile for me to memorize them but once I did it was all muscle memory. I didn’t need to know what the keys meant just where I had to put my hands. Occasionally I still let my fingers run over the keys mindlessly playing that one song that my muscles remember better than I do.

High school began and an amazing game called Guitar Hero appeared into my life. This magnificent rhythm game was everything that I could have hoped for. After playing for only a short while I was already playing on expert mode and it was just too easy. My uncle had watched me play this video game several times and suggested I put down the plastic guitar and pick up a real one. He had been playing guitar recreationally since he was a teenager so he passed his guitar onto me. It was a dusty old acoustic guitar but to me it was beautiful. I began taking lessons at a music shop not far from home and picked up the instrument almost instantly. I would practice my cords every day until my fingers bled. I was so into it that my dad bought me my own electric/acoustic guitar. I had been playing guitar for about two years before I hit the peak of my progression. For some reason I had just stopped getting better. No matter how many songs I practiced or how long I played them for. I was starting to feel really down on myself. Why couldn’t I get better? Maybe it wasn’t the instrument for me after all? I came to learn that guitar was one of the easiest instruments to pick up but the hardest to master. I didn’t want to be amazing but I didn’t want to freeze up every time my instructor motioned me for a solo. I took a break for it for quite some time. I only felt worse about myself because I couldn’t remember a single song I had learned except the intro to "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins. I felt like I had failed myself. I’m still a bit ashamed every time I look at my guitar standing up in the corner of my room. 

Music has always been a huge part of my life as well as a few of my family member’s. When my mom was a teenager she would go to concerts all the time. She has seen Metallica at least five times. I was pretty jealous when I found this information out but I am very lucky to be her daughter because I developed some interesting musical tastes. For some reason middle school and early elementary school was a time for ‘pop music’. All my friends liked it but I grew out of that fast. Now there are only a very select few pop songs that I enjoy listening to.

As I got older I started going to concerts of my own, my very first: Flogging Molly. To me this represented my Irish heritage and I fell in love with Celtic rock and traditional Celtic music. As a kid I enjoyed a lot of the rock music that played on the radio as I was growing up, especially Smashing Pumpkins. When I got the chance to see them live in Boston, I couldn’t have been more excited. My dad and I arrived so early to the show that we were allowed to go in for a meet and greet with the record club (which I am now a part of). Billy Corgan talked to us for a short amount of time and let us ask him whatever questions we wanted. I was so tongue tied that I stayed quiet and just listened. He knew music in a completely different way than I did. He didn’t care if you liked his music or not, it was an expression of himself and how he dealt with going through different parts of his life. This opened up a whole new view for me and made me listen to music much different from that point on. Then came Tool.

My uncle introduced me to the unusual sounds of Maynard James Keenan. It was unlike any music I had heard up until that point in my life but it amazed me. I guess you could classify it as alternative metal or progressive rock but it doesn’t really matter to me what it’s called. I was beginning to deal with depression and anxiety in my life but this music eased it. It is sort of trance like listening to this music. It allows me to lift my spirit in a way, allowing it to travel and dance, not being held down by the weight of my own worries. I enjoy every off shoot band Maynard has and they all give me goose bumps when I listen to them, even after the 100^th listen. That to me is what makes his music so amazing and so enjoyable to sing along with his unique vocals. They were just as amazing live as they are on any recorded album.

I don’t think my love for music will ever cease. It has been there for me through good times and bad. From classical to metal I love a wide variety of music and artists. What I like to listen to most always depends on my mood or what I am doing at the time but my head is like a radio; there is always some song playing. And I think I like it that way.