New Experiences

 

New life experiences can be tough. Being my mother's only child gave me a disadvantage when it came to experiencing new things in life. I was quite sheltered growing up (and still am as long as I live under my parent's roof), to the point where it was almost unhealthy. For example, I couldn't walk home from the bus stop until I was 15. By that point it was almost time for me to start driving myself to school so it didn't really matter anyway. I understand that I am her baby and she wants to protect me but now I am struggling to deal with simple things in life that people normally find ordinary. 

The first time I had to ride the train into work I was petrified. Sure I rode the train with friends before but never on my own. I never had to be the one to count the stops or remember what you had to do with your ticket once you bought it (and don't even get me started with the subway). I'm embarrassed to say that I did fumble around with my phone a bit once I got seated to figure out more on what in the world I had to do. Do you buy your ticket on the train or before you board? What platform do you have to get on to get home? I was pretty much a mess that morning. My anxiety was through the roof and I hardly ate anything all day because of it.

 

Cities are much different than the country. I grew up in a small farm town; population = more cows than people. It wasn't until college that I finally got a small taste of the city life; the hustle and bustle, having to watch for traffic when you cross the street, the noise of cars and sirens all night, and the incredible light pollution. It wasn't hard to adapt to, being protected by the boundaries of the campus (even if the campus was plopped down right in the center of a neighborhood). But there was always something empowering about taking a walk to the comic store with a group of friends or finding a cool new restaurant to visit. It was invigorating making my own decisions, a true sign that I was growing up.        

 

Now that I'm getting older I've started telling my parents what I'm doing instead of asking (ok well I still ask a little bit, but that's only because I don't want to ruin any of their plans they might have, plus my mom is sick and if my dad can't bring her to her doctor's appointments I want to make sure that I'm here to do it). I still text my mom as soon as I arrive at my destination so she doesn't worry but I don't think that will ever change. 

 

My next big adventure (I hope) is to take a plane without my parents. I want to travel and experience all that life has to offer. I want to break out of this shell and experience the true beauty of living.